my everyday style: looking to fall and 6 self-care tips that actually work!

Do you practice self care? I know it's a personal question but seriously, do you? I try to and for a long time I THOUGHT I was doing it right... big win at the office means cocktails that night, right? A frustrating day with the kids means treat yo' self at Target, ya know? But I soon realized that all this TREAT YO SELF or "if, then" kind of splurges were adding up both in my wallet and *ahem* my waistline (emotional eater much, yep, that's me!). And after I was done "rewarding" myself I didn't feel any better in the long run, maybe for a minute, but certainly not much longer. The whole time I thought I was practicing self care but really I was just "rewarding" myself in an empty way. As I've gotten older I've realized that self care is less about treats and rewards but more about actually caring for yourself and your well being. Treats and rewards are about loving on yourself when you do something good. Self care is about loving on yourself no matter what. It's unconditional. It's about doing something today that will reward you today or maybe next week or maybe forever. It's about truly taking time out of your day to be kind to yourself in a way that no one else can do for you.

Here are 6 ways I truly (try to) practice self care...

1) Keeping my drawers organized. As much as I can throughout the house I keep my kitchen, bathroom, bedroom drawers organized. Sure they get out of hand at times but putting things back where they belong and/or having a dedicated spot for everything in the first place is a gift to yourself long term. Opening an organized drawer makes me happy EVERY time I do it. So keeping them organized is a gift to myself multiple times a day.

2) Keeping a running list of what small activities truly make me happy. Whether you write it down or just keep a little running list in your mind, I refer to this list when I'm down or frustrated or having a bad day. Little things like taking 15-30 minutes to read, listening to a podcast, taking a 30 minute nap, changing into leggings (God bless leggings), blasting music or visiting that out of the way bakery that I never make time for are all things that are simple and mostly free that can get me out of a bad mood. And not only that, long term they can add up - think of all the knowledge there is to be gained from a 45 minute podcast instead of a 45 minute Instagram binge or think how you are helping the small business economy by going out of your way to visit your favorite bakery that day - and you know I love reading but seriously, 15-30 minutes of reading each day can really add up!

3) Ask for what I need from my husband and kids. I'm an introvert by nature - which doesn't mean I don't like people, it just means I need a break from them sometimes. It's difficult for me to say "I need a break" - but I've found when I do it, I feel so much better! Sometimes I just say - mom needs some quiet time and usually everyone agrees (wink, wink). Everyone is different so for you it may need more time, more time connecting with your loved ones! Whatever it is that you need to feel emotionally supported by those who love you most, don't be afraid to ask for it.

4) Finding small rituals and them making them uplifting habits. My personal care ritual is sometimes rushed and harried as I run out the door. But for me, finding the time to enjoy my entire beauty ritual (okay, maybe not the blow drying part) helps me both get some time to myself and also invest in my best future self as well. Sure it takes more time to slather on all those lotions, potions and serums every morning and night but it's my goal to age gracefully and the ritual and the outcome are both big wins in my book. Same with baths - for me there is nothing as relaxing as a super hot bath at the end of the day. I love lighting a candle, adding some Epsom salts and grabbing a book to unwind. I never used to make time for this... but now that I do, I can't imagine life without it.

5) Putting my phone down. This one is the hardest on the list by far. Man are we addicted to those little beasts! Instagram and Facebook binges are empty time wasters - and while they can be fun and shouldn't be dropped altogether - lately I try to ask myself: Am I just tired/bored/aimlessly scrolling? Or am I able to be present, comment and like and interact as my best self right now? If it's the former I try to turn it off and walk away from the screens. My phone has become my go-to even when I'm not even in the mood for it - which usually results in being annoyed with it but not being able to stop. This is when I refer to #2 to make better decisions with how I use my free time.

6) Making good food decisions. It's taken me way too long to realize that constantly "treating" myself to sweets, wine, beer, sugary drinks or other junk food for accomplishing something isn't a long term way to feel better about myself. I learned this lesson the hard way. This was my MO for so long and while it's fun it made me realize I was making emotional food decisions. Not smart food decisions. Again, it's not that a hard day can't be rewarded with a glass of wine ever again... it's just realizing there are other more sustainable ways to practice self care. When I avoid the emotional eating and instead focus on FUELING my body to feel good - big surprise, I actually feel good. This helps me reach personal goals my life and my career when I am fueled and strong vs full of junk food.

I would love to hear YOUR ways of practicing self care... what works for you?

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Let's chat about this outfit quick though... shall we?

I'm using cardigans to make the summer to fall transition as easy as possible. Throwing a cardigan over a tank and jeans is a combo I depend heavily on. Especially this time of year when I am SO over my summer clothes and especially shorts. Hello, my legs are done for the season! This cardigan is so soft and lightweight - it's PERFECT for this time of year! I love pairing them with these distressed jeans and a simple tank top.