on being content (again...)

It's on my list. I've mentioned it before. But this year a huge goal of mine is to be content. I've got more to say on it, and I suspect I will all year long.

Yesterday I had a "mirror" moment with my four year old son. You know those times your children become a mirror, reflect you, and it's not pretty (sometimes it is, but this one was more eye-opening)? If you have kids, you likely know what I mean. If you don't. Bless you and your oblivion. It's a very challenging part of parenthood for me. For me though, the silver lining is that I am recognizing these moments, coming to terms with them, learning from them and moving on. So the "mirror" moments, while maybe unkind at the moment, turn into life lessons. And for that I can be thankful.

~~~

I was playing a board game with my son yesterday and while we were playing I noticed some typical four year old behavior. But in a new light. Every time it was his turn and he had a success, he would be SO excited (as would I for him)... we would whoop it up and have some fun and then move on. Then when it was my turn and I would have some success he just couldn't take it. He would cry and pout and be a general four-year-old about it. This started spiraling. Before I knew it, he couldn't even play the game anymore. Couldn't concentrate enough on his own turn because he would be so upset about a match I had previously made (the game was Memory). Prior to the spiral, he was playing a great game... we were neck and neck. But when he started comparing, he lost his footing.

Decor8 has an amazing series she just started this past week on living a creative life. (If you haven't checked it out - you must! And read the comments too - such great stuff!) A lot of the comments mirrored my own thoughts. And a lot of them were to this effect: "But the creative pool is so flooded... where do I fit in?" "I'm not as good as other artists, I'm afraid that I'll seem a fraud."

While I am making room in my life for contentment - there can be no room for comparison.

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